somekindahate (some1kind3hate8) wrote,
somekindahate
some1kind3hate8

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"the update"

i havent updated for a few days or so. so ive decided to update..... there isnt really much to say though....i am going to this EI program schooling thing out at the career center. im assuming ill start after christmas break. i didnt go to school today on the count of last night was a scream fest, there was more fighting and yelling name calling throwing shit. the usual. and i broke down....once again. its just that no matter what i do or say no one seems to be listening and when they listen they dont even TRY to comprehend it. im so sick of it all, even easy things in life are made difficult because everyone turns it into something harder than it really is! but ehh ohhh well. i just have to keep telling myself that being alone takes time to get used to. my father basically abandoned me long long ago (i only get in contact with him every so often, get gifts for my bday and christmas, and then every other summer or so i get to see him for a few days.) my sister it hell bent on getting a real life (which sorry to say, thats not gonna happen as long as shes here.) my mom has to deal with this daliy stress of all the problems that come with all the other problems my "family" comes with. and i dont have any friends really, i dont get out no out hang out with me, the person that has been my best friend basically for about 8 years or so has just forgotten that i exsist. and i have no other contact with any other human species. besides the fuckin teachers and other students at my school that bitch constantly, which doesnt help any. i just.....hhhhhhhhhuu, im tired of all this shit. i get reminded daily of the fact that my "childhood" is gone and its been long gone for a good while, and i never even realized it until it was to late. i dont even really remember my "childhood" the parts i do remember dont feel real, they feel like....just....like a movie, a dream. and i woke up after it was all over.......i missed out on all the good things in my "life" and now as ive woken up, i have realized that thats all gone and now im suddenly supposed to grow up. which in my opinion i think ive done a pretty good damned good job so far, being that all ive delt with and am expected to be perfectly fine! i dont think i am going to be able to manage life in the near and/or distant future. but yeahhhh, instead of bitching like always, ill just play an online game or some shit, maybe itll get my mind off everything. oh and merry christmas to all who read this (lmao)..............
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